Understanding the pesky apostrophe

One of the more interesting internet sites for those of us involved in writing -- and those who wish to be accurate in their use of terms -- is "Common Errors in English" developed by Washington State University professor Paul Brians.

Here are some of the more interesting examples he cites:

Adviser/advisor -- Both are equally fine spellings. There is no distinction between them.

Affect/effect -- There are four distinct words here. When "affect" is accented on the final syllable (a-FECT), it is a verb meaning "have an influence on": "The million-dollar donation from the industrialist did not affect my vote against the Clean Air Act." A much rarer meaning is indicated when the word is accented on the first syllable (AFF-ect), meaning "emotion." In this case the word is used mostly by psychiatrists and social scientists -- people who normally know how to spell it. The real problem arises when people confuse the first spelling with the second: "effect." This too can be two different words. The more common one is a noun: "When I left the stove on, the effect was that the house filled with smoke." When you affect a situation, you have an effect on it. The less common is a verb meaning "to create": "I'm trying to effect a change in the way we purchase widgets." No wonder people are confused. Note especially that the proper expression is not "take affect" but "take effect" -- become effective. Hey, nobody ever said English was logical: just memorize it and get on with your life.

Allude/elude -- You can allude (refer) to your daughter's membership in the honor society when boasting about her, but a criminal tries to elude (escape) captivity. There is no such word as "illude."

Apostrophes (okay, we know the professor's summary here is long, but there DEFINITELY are more mistakes in this area of usage than any other) -- First, let's all join in a hearty curse of the grammarians who inserted the wretched apostrophe into possessives in the first place. It was all a mistake. Our ancestors used to write "Johns hat" meaning "the hat of John" without the slightest ambiguity. However, some time in the Renaissance certain scholars decided that the simple "s" of possession must have been formed out of a contraction of the more "proper" "John his hat". Since in English we mark contractions with an apostrophe, they did so, and we were stuck with the stupid "John's hat." This error can be a handy reminder though: if you're not sure whether a noun ending in "s" should be followed by an apostrophe, ask yourself whether you could plausibly substitute "his" or "her" for the "s."

The exception to this pattern is personal pronouns indicating possession like "his," "hers," and "its."

Get this straight once and for all: when the "s" is added to a word simply to make it a plural, no apostrophe is used.

Apostrophes are also used to indicate omitted letters in real contractions: "do not" becomes "don't."

Why can't we all agree to do away with the wretched apostrophe? Because its two uses -- contraction and possession -- have people so thoroughly confused that they are always putting in apostrophes where they don't belong, in simple plurals ("cucumber's for sale") and family names when they are referred to collectively ("the Smith's").

The practice of putting improper apostrophes in family names on signs is an endless source of confusion. "The Brown's" is just plain wrong. If you simply want to indicate that a family named Brown lives here, the sign out front should read simply "The Browns." When a name ends in an "S" you need to add an "ES" to make it plural: "the Adamses."

What about when plural names are used to indicate possession? "The Browns' cat" is standard (the second "S" is "understood"), though some prefer "the Browns's cat."

Apostrophes are also misplaced in common plural nouns on signs: "Restrooms are for customer's use only." Who is this privileged customer to deserve a private bathroom? The sign should read "for customers' use."

It is not uncommon to see the"S" wrongly apostrophized even in verbs, as in the mistaken "He complain's a lot."

Calvary/cavalry -- "Calvary," always capitalized, is the hill on which Jesus was crucified. It means "hill of skulls." Soldiers mounted on horseback are cavalry.

Mischievious -- The correct pronunciation of this word is "MISS-chuh-vuss," not "miss-CHEE-vee-uss." Don't let that mischievous extra I sneak into the word.

Perogative/prerogative -- "Prerogative" is frequently both mispronounced and misspelled as "perogative." It may help to remember that the word is associated with PRivileges of PRecedence.

There are many more clarifications on Brians' website (note our proper use of the apostrophe here) and in a book he has published on the subject. We would recommend both to those who are interested in the correct use of the language

--REK